How Mamas Can Make the Most of a Vacation (so she feels filled up again)

How Mamas Can Make the Most of a Vacation (so she feels filled up again)

As wonderful as vacations are, I often feel more stressed taking one. Here's how to plan a vacation that will refuel you rather than drain you.

Do you remember vacations as a child? My family did camping and cottage trips. I don't remember much about the prep. What I remember is catching frogs in creeks, roasting marshmallows by the fire, and learning how to clean fish. One favourite memory is playing Monopoly into the wee hours of the morning as my dad and my brother duked it out until death. Despite the occasional fight or injury, we have a stock of good memories and stories we revisit.

Now I am the parent. I spend two to three days arguing and feeling stressed out about what we need to pack, until the last couple of hours when I'm not sure where things are or what I'm going to forget. The kids are so excited, all they want to do is reminisce or fantasize about what happens at the cottage. “Do you think we’ll find a snake again, mom?” “Do you think it will be weird and rain a lot?”
As cute as they are at 4 and 6 years old, I’m frazzled. I’m trying to remember the 140 things we need to pack, and all they are responsible for are their shoes and 1 toy for the ride. (Guaranteed, I will have to remind them 7 times for getting on shoes)

It's hard to know what my kids are going to remember.  We plan family vacations to spend time together and ultimately, make memories. I hope my kids are going to remember the joy and laughter, but I also worry they’re going to remember what mom is like being the trip planner.

I’d rather enjoy this time with them and feel refreshed coming home. This time I've decided to do things differently.

Take an extra day off before and after travel

If you have the flexibility in your job and the vacation days available, taking the extra time is valuable to your mental load to add an extra at home before and after your holidays. Do most of your packing the day before you travel. Then you can spend the rest of the day cleaning or recovering. You can leave the next morning with very little stress if the car is already mostly packed. While cleaning isn’t a necessary part of a holiday, you may be more relieved to come home to a tidy house than one left in chaos.

Having the bonus day after you come home is an extra blessing. Have you ever come back from a trip, feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation? Unloading the car after a long trip is exhausting. Driving back from the airport after a flight is draining. Then, you're looking at all the laundry that needs to be done, the food to put away, and all the other things that need to make it back into their place in your home. I have found it best to plow through and do as much as you can when you get home. Then you can enjoy an extra day off to breathe before you jump back into regular life.

Under plan

If you're ambitious like me, you like to fit as many things into your agenda as possible. Not only is this unrealistic, it's also less enjoyable. Even if you are planning to incorporate things like travel time, nothing prepares you for weather ruining your plans, fights with the family, or not getting enough sleep one night and just wanting a morning off. 

At most, pick an outing or an event for one-quarter of your awake time. Going away for a week? No more than two-day trips. Going away for a weekend? Choose one morning or afternoon for a big event.

Disconnect from screens

We all know how much screen time affects us, but do you actually know how much information you are consuming daily? Make an intentional plan to sign off social media or shut off devices completely and give your brain a rest. 

Consider: 

• Making a plan that one responsible adult will have a phone turned on for emergency calls, and then turn off and put away the rest of the devices. 

• Commit to screen-free time every day for the whole family, or be bold enough to detox completely for several days at a time.

You'll be amazed at how much you rely on your devices and how much more quality time you can have with your family without screens.

These are a Few of My Favourite Things

The week before our cottage trip, I booked a massage. In hindsight, this was a great plan! Not only did I start my vacation with some self-care, but in chatting with my RMT, I made a commitment to honour my body. I was going to have the time to re-establish some other care habits. I told her that I was going to take time for yoga every day. By telling her, I was adding a bit more accountability to my plan.

We only take 1-2 weeks off a year for a vacation and I want it to be enjoyable. Here are some things I choose to do on my holidays:

Daily walks, yoga, reading, journaling and any other joyful movement. Everything else is a bonus.

As much as I want to jam-pack my holidays I tend to over plan and underachieve. It’s not mommy’s to-do list that kids want to experience on vacation; it’s a well-rested and present mommy they want to spend time with. I’d much rather enjoy my holiday and create beautiful memories than gett down on myself for not doing enough. I prefer coming home feeling refreshed, don’t you?

Do you have holidays coming up? How could you relieve some of the stress?